Nobody Else Will, So Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility for Tucson

KABUL,Afghanistan -- After both major U.S. political parties denied a role in the Tucson, AZ, shootings, Al Qaeda senior leader Abu Yabba al Libi has come forward to claim responsibility.

“We claim responsibility for every other tragedy,” al Libi said, “What’s one more?”

In the video aired on Al Jazeera, al Libi noted that while the lone shooter has no ties to al Qaeda and doesn’t follow politics, he shouldn’t be held accountable.  “We don’t know him, but it is not his fault.  Maybe he played the video games, or watched the violent cartoons. “

Apparently Americans are in the crosshairs of his message. “You infidels offend my not-so-good freedom fighting brothers. Some lose their hands in explosions, and you mock them with your finger-pointing.  They don’t have the fingers to point!”

He closed with praise for the American media, citing the outstanding physical condition of reporters and bloggers. “Probably, it is from the exercise.  It appears they often jump to conclusions.”

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