The Least You Should Know (12/30)

A pet insurance company released a list of things consumed by animals in 2010. One item is a wrist watch, presumably eaten by a cat trying to pass the time.

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The Least You Should Know (12/28)

Jeopardy! will have a show that pits man against a computer. They got the idea from watching people at the self-checkout at Target.

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The Least You Should Know (12/28)

States opposing Obamacare are optimistic the Supreme Court will rule the law unconstitutional. The government can’t make us buy anything, even the fact that Nancy Pelosi is 70 years old.

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The Least You Should Know (12/27)

CostCo posted a $312 million dollar profit last quarter. It’s all about timing; they always sell a lot of paper shredders right before a national election.

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The Least You Should Know (12/23)

Scientists in Texas found that some butters contain a chemical used in flame retardants. That’s why when a person consumes too much butter it’s hard to burn calories.

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The Least You Should Know (12/22)

Ford plans to integrate recycled blue jeans on the interior of the 2012 Focus. Each car will contain 2 pair of averaged-sized American jeans; they’ll promote it by saying the interior has more leg room.

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The Least You Should Know (12/21)

The land in Montana where the Unabomber lived is for sale. It’s a great vacation spot; water and electricity aren’t available, so it’s like you’re on a Carnival Cruise.

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The Least You Should Know (12/20)

The original coffin that held the body of JFK assassin Lee Harvey Oswald sold at an auction for $87,000. For historical purposes, before the winning bidder moves the coffin the feds will cover it up.

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The Least You Should Know (12/16)

Two Oklahoma women were arrested at TJ Maxx for hiding stolen merchandise in their fat roles. They nearly got away with boots, gloves, and a part-time salesman.

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The Least You Should Know (12/15)

The Congressional Budget Offices reported that the stimulus package boosted jobs in the 3rd quarter. It certainly did for House Republicans.

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The Least You Should Know (12/14)

A man in England is selling a popular calendar featuring pictures of roadkill. A warning about Miss September: she’s a real dog.

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The Least You Should Know (12/13)

A company that tracks lightening said that 310 million bolts struck the earth between May and October, mostly right after mid-term campaign speeches were made.

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The Least You Should Know (12/9)

77-year-old Willie Nelson was arrested for possession of pot. He’s a hero to many; without him nobody would know that marijuana can be a gateway drug to country music.

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The Least You Should Know (12/8)

The Taliban leader that was in secret peace talks with the U.S turned out to be an imposter. Americans still aren’t used to asking for a birth certificate.

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The Least You Should Know (12/7)

Ohio death row inmates will now have a time limit on their final words before execution. The warden is getting tired of hearing 199 Trillion Bottles of Beer on the Wall.

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The Least You Should Know (12/6)

Newt Gingrich has a 12-step plan that he says will transform the United States. He doesn’t have a lot of support; given our weight problem Americans try to avoid steps.

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The Least You Should Know (12/2)

There may be a new Incredible Hulk series coming to TV. It will be set in 2010; he’s still green and still growls, but instead of a scientist David Banner turns into an E.P.A. agent.

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The Least You Should Know (12/1)

The Miss Mafia beauty contest will be held later this month in Hungary. The winner gets a new car with an extra large trunk.

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The Least You Should Know (11/30)

Mike Tyson is reportedly opening a restaurant. He evidently didn’t pay attention to the election; this isn’t a good time for people who support earmarks.

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The Least You Should Know (11/29)

The UK asked McDonald's, KFC and Pepsi to help write a new government health policy. When that’s finished they’ll create a tax code with advice from Wesley Snipes.

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The Department of Defenth

I'm not one of those guys who complains that President Obama spends time playing basketball. However, a pickup game of hoops Friday is a metaphor for his presidency. While the Koreans are on the brink of providing Alan Alda with another successful sitcom, President Obama played defense with his face. The result: 12 stitches to the lip.

Just as Bush's presidency became known by video of him trying to leave through a locked door after giving a speech overseas (see: no exit strategy), Obama's might be characterized by his getting a bloody lip on defense. To be fair, maybe he was taking a charge. Perhaps he's not used to man-to-man defense. Given his political philosophy, he probably prefers zone because everybody plays an equal part.

Fortunately, the President was treated immediately and is fine (he has good health insurance). And if things escalate among the Koreans, Joe Biden will make a great Frank Burns.

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The Least You Should Know (11/28)

A Kansas man uploaded video on YouTube he shot on I-75 of a horse in the back seat of a car. There’s a logical reason it was in the back seat of a car: the cow called shotgun.

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The Least You Should Know (11/24)

Martha Stewart told Stephen Colbert she gets Thanksgiving turkeys drunk before killing them. She kills them by either chopping off their heads or making them do origami.

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The Least You Should Know (11/23)

The true story 127 Hours is reportedly causing some filmgoers to faint during the scene when a hiker amputates his own arm. The news will certainly end any thoughts of a Lorena Bobbit movie.

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The Least You Should Know (11/22)

The deck of playing cards was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame. Now guys can tell their wives they got them a classic gift; it’s small, in a box, and has a lot of diamonds.

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The Least You Should Know (11/18)

British scientists developed a new material that could be used to make an invisible cloak. Now they can’t find where they put it.

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The Least You Should Know (11/17)

A bar in New York recently celebrated the 100th anniversary of its urinals. It was standing room only.

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The Least You Should Know (11/16)

The Chinese have built the world’s fastest supercomputer. It’s expected to become obsolete by the time you finish reading this sentence.

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The Least You Should Know (11/15)

Syracuse University found that falling in love can elicit the same euphoric high as doing cocaine. Either way, statistically there’s a 50 percent chance you’ll end up losing your house.

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The Least You Should Know (11/11)

The rescued Chilean miners were invited to last weekend's New York City Marathon. There’s a reason; it’s a runner’s dream to compete against a guy that takes 69 days to get home from work.

The Least You Should Know (11/10)

Robert De Niro and Sylvester Stallone might do a movie where they play old boxing rivals. Senior citizens shouldn't do boxing movies; hitting below the belt could cause a chest injury.

The Least You Should Know (11/9)

Chicago was named the most dangerous city in America. Once again, in Chicago the dead get to vote.

The Least You should Know (11/8)

In his new autobiography Keith Richards details the Rolling Stones partying through the 60s and 70s. But they all slowed down when they turned 80.

The Least You Should Know (11/3)

A company is marketing an alarm clock that’s louder than a chainsaw. It’s guaranteed to wake you up in time to put on clean underwear.

The Least You Should Know (11/2)

Paramount Pictures is discussing a Top Gun 2. The original came out in 1986, before John McCain was a Maverick and Hillary Clinton was the Iceman.

The Least You Should Know (11/1)

Joe Biden said Democrats aren’t campaigning on some of President Obama’s accomplishments because they’re too hard to explain. For example, not everybody knows what a double eagle is.

The Least You Should Know (10/28)

In China, scientists are looking for a creature that looks like Bigfoot. It’s payback time; now the Chinese will know how hard it is to find something made in the United States.

The Least You Should Know (10/27)

This season the NBA directed referees to call more technical fouls on players for overt gestures like sarcastic clapping, punching the air, and throwing their pacifiers.

The Least You Should Know (10/26)

A Massachusetts school district plans to observe a Muslim holiday. If surveys are accurate, 25 percent of Americans think it should be called President’s Day.

The Least You Should Know (10/21)

Iran and Egypt are renewing flights after a 31-year freeze. It’s good news for passengers that had the layover.

The Least You Should Know (10/19)

At a show in New York Lady Gaga wore a dress made entirely of human hair. It was either made that way, or her meat dress is past the expiration date.

The Least You Should Know (10/18)

A Guantanamo Bay prisoner on a 5-year hunger strike is occasionally eating solid food again. Victoria’s Secret immediately ruled him out as a replacement for Heidi Klum.

The Least You Should Know (10/14)

A Lithuanian vacation resort is hiring only female staff with blond hair. It'll be used as a minor league team for Fox News anchors.

The Least You Should Know (10/12)

13 Chrysler workers were fired for drinking alcohol and smoking pot on their lunch break. It’s just in time; the last time workers behaved like this we ended up with Dodge K-cars.

The Least You should Know (10/11)

For two straight weeks the Chiefs Shaun Smith has been accused of grabbing an opponent’s private parts. Most recently, it was so obvious he had to be removed from the bridge game.

The Least You Should Know (10/7)

Stephen Colbert is still making headlines after he testified before Congress. Critics say the hearing was insincere and unprofessional; then Colbert showed up.

The Least You Should Know (10/5)

Jimmy Carter said he hopes President Obama’s presidency is as successful as his. So do Republicans.

The Least You Should Know (10/1)

Kim Kardashian split with Dallas Cowboys receiver Miles Austin. She’s building a legacy; most people that rush through this many NFL players are in the Hall of Fame.

The Least You Should Know (9/29)

Research finds that people who are popular tend to catch the flu first. So that’s good news for Congress.

The Least You Should Know (9/28)

In Louisiana a naked woman stole a cab. People are celebrating the 20th year of Jerry Springer’s show in different ways.

The Least You Should Know (9/27)

A 37-room castle is up for sale in central Italy. It’s 1,600 years old and needs a lot of renovations; pretty much the same thing CNN said about Larry King.

The Least You Should Know (9/22)

People are criticizing President Obama because quotes sewn into his new Oval Office rug are misattributed. Not only that, half of Americans think the rug faces Mecca.

The Least You Should Know (9/21)

The FDA told Canada Dry not to make health claims on their green tea drinks. People won’t care anyway; when Americans are encouraged to drink Canada Dry, they just see it as a challenge.

The Least You Should Know (9/20)

Newsweek has an article suggesting that America overreacted to 9/11. It’s ghost written by Saddam Hussein.

The Least You Should Know (9/16)

Paris Hilton said she thought the bag of cocaine police found in her purse was gum. She loves going to parades when Lindsay Lohan is throwing the candy.

The Least You Should Know (9/15)

A California golfer struck a rock that sparked a 12-acre fire. It's the most destructive drive by a golfer since Tiger Woods tried to leave his house on Thanksgiving.

The Least You Should Know (9/14)

New York approved school textbooks that some say twist facts about the Founding Fathers. Before now nobody knew that Thomas Jefferson owned a dry cleaning business with his wife Wheezie.

The Least You Shoud Know (9/13)

The Census Bureau noted that the birth rate dropped 2.7 percent last year. Some say it’s because of the economy, or that Levi Johnston was too busy.

The Least You Should Know (9/9)

In an interview President Obama said he can’t spend all of his time with his birth certificate plastered on his forehead. It would be too distracting when he putts.

The Least You Should Know (9/7)

Paris Hilton was pulled over because an officer said there was a vapor trail that smelled like marijuana coming from her SUV on the Las Vegas strip. It must have been a strong odor; the cop was in L.A.

The Least You Should Know (9/6)

A man in Florida was arrested for getting into a profanity-laced argument with his bicycle. Typical road rage; it all started when the bike flipped him off.

The Least You Should Know (9/2)

An ex-wife of the guy who played Bozo the Clown claims that he cheated on her. She knew right away when she saw his shoes parked in another woman's driveway.

The Least You Should Know (9/1)

Iran recently began fueling its first nuclear plant, increasing suspicions of a nuclear weapon. To counter, the United States acquired two Iowa egg farms.

The Least You Should Know (8/31)

Because of a food shortage experts warn that the bears in Yellowstone will be more dangerous this fall. They plan to start cooking with tainted eggs.

The Least You Should Know (8/30)

Mel Gibson crashed his car into a hillside. He got distracted when he was screaming at the lady on his GPS .

The Least You Should Know (8/26)

A federal jury convicted former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich of lying to federal agents. He told them he has his hair done by a professional.

The Least You Should Know (8/25)

Florida is considering a new immigration law. It’s tough; everybody would have to carry I.D., and LeBron James can’t find a pocket-sized picture of the Last Supper.

The Least You Should Know (8/24)

Levi Johnston is running for city office in Wasilla, Alaska. He’s impregnated multiple women and been photographed naked; there's no doubt he’s ready for politics.

The Least You Should Know (8/19)

Dancers at an Ohio strip club protested outside a church that protested them. It’s a tough economy. Each week they try to survive on a few dollar bills, and so do the strippers.

The Least You Should Know (8/18)

19 Sudanese men were sentenced to 30 lashes for wearing women’s clothing. In Sudan it’s illegal; in America it’s Lady Gaga.

The Least You Should Know (8/17)

NFL training camps are open. Hundreds of people trying for a few dozen spots; it’s like parking at the mall.

The Least You Should Know (8/11)

The Chevy Volt is getting ridiculed because of GM’s ties to the government. The car has a lot of power, and requires the driver to fill out a bunch of forms before it starts.

The Least You Should Know (8/10)

President Obama wasn’t invited to Chelsea Clinton’s wedding. It’s their loss; he would have made sure that everybody got an equal part of the cake.

The Least You Should Know (8/9)

Treasury Secretary Tim Geitner said the economic meltdown happened because Americans lived beyond their means. We bought things we didn’t need, like General Motors.

The Least You Should Know (8/4)

President Obama is being criticized for not speaking at the Boy Scout Jamboree. Smart guy; it's a bad political move to be photographed in a recession among thousands of children living in tents.

The Least You Should Know (8/3)

A woman gave birth at a Colorado Springs Starbucks. It almost caused her to lose her place in line.

The Least You Should Know (8/2)

The city of Oakland approved licenses for 4 marijuana factories. The factories will open bright and early each day at noon.

The Least You Should Know (7/29)

A man in Italy opened a manhole museum. The hours are flexible; you can drop in any time.

The Least You Should Know (7/28)

The crash test dummies, Vince and Larry, will be displayed at the Smithsonian Museum. Over the years they've seen more airbags than a C-Span camera man.

The Least You Should Know (7/27)

Charlie Sheen’s domestic violence hearing in Colorado was delayed again. He’s busy rehearsing for his role in The Mel Gibson Story.

The Least You Should Know (7/26)

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said that Democrats could lose the House. It’s their way of relating to a lot of other Americans.

The Least You Should Know (7/22)

The departure of LeBron James is expected to have a negative economic impact on Cleveland. His jerseys are still a hot item, but just that's because they're on fire.

The Least You Should Know (7/21)

A man who used to be a chef for Osama bin Laden pleaded guilty on multiple charges. He’s an enemy of the U.S. government because he aided a terrorist, and even worse, cooked with too much salt.

The Least You Should Know (7/20)

A lot of people think it will be good for Lindsay Lohan to go to jail. She’s had a string of bad decisions, like letting Mel Gibson give her a manicure.

The Least You Should Know (7/19)

Budget problems in Illinois have forced lawmakers to stop paying the state’s bills. But they're trying to raise some quick cash by selling all senate seats for half price.

The Least You Should Know (7/15)

Mel Gibson was caught on tape denigrating his ex-girlfriend and using the “N” word. It’s a career change; apparently he’s moving from movies into rap

The Least You Should Know (7/14)

A study finds that only 13 percent of the meals in U.S. homes are prepared by men. That’s probably why Tiger Woods got divorced.

The Least You Should Know (7/13)

BP said it will maintain its sponsorship of the 2012 Olympics in London. They’ll provide some black birdies for badminton.

The Least You Should Know (7/12)

Warner Brothers announced they’re making a Lego movie. Characters will be made by sticking a bunch of pieces together, kind of like Mr. Potato Head or Heidi Montag.

The Least You Should Know (7/8)

Nicolas Hayek, the inventor of Swatch watches passed away. He wore 4 watches on each arm, but it didn’t help; he’s still known as the late Nicolas Hayek.

The Least You Should Know (7/7)

Outside the G-20 summit in Toronto people torched cars and broke windows. Police aren’t sure if they were protesters or Lakers fans beginning their off-season workout.

The Least You Should Know (7/6)

A Florida man was run over by his own truck after his dog put it into gear. The dog was mumbling something about having to wear a Christmas sweater.

The Least You Should Know (7/5)

At Wimbledon the longest match in tennis history was suspended at 59-59 in the fifth set. It was getting too dark, and all the fans had neck injuries.

The Least You Should Know (7/1)

Maytag is recalling nearly 2 million dishwashers. It's the same thing Arizona is trying to do with their immigration law.

The Least You Should Know (6/30)

BP CEO Tony Hayward testified in front of the Senate. There was a delay when he spilled his glass of water and didn't know how to clean it up.

The Least You Should Know (6/29)

A court ordered the remains of chess great Bobby Fischer to be exhumed. The judge got tired of waiting; it was Fischer’s move.

The Least You Should Know (6/28)

Some say the oil mess in the Gulf is George W. Bush’s fault. If it is, he got his files mixed up with the Iraq war because the oil clearly has an exit plan.

The Least You Should Know (6/24)

A new documentary claims Osama bin Laden is living comfortably in Iran. But to get more television coverage he’s leaving to join the Big 10 Conference.

The Least You Should Know (6/23)

A young boy was caught on camera apparently drinking beer at a Phillies game. It’s no surprise; he just found out he has nothing in his 401K.

The Least You Should Know (6/21)

The Washington Nationals picked 17-year-old Bryce Harper in the MLB draft. They wanted the best slugger available, but Charlie Sheen was already picked up by the Aspen Prosecutors.

The Least You Should Know (6/18)

People are still stunned that Al and Tipper Gore split. When it’s time for the divorce settlement, some fear the Supreme Court will give everything to Bush.

The Least You Should Know (6/16)

The Harley-Davidson Museum is opening an exhibit to honor Evel Knievel. For a limited time the gift shop is giving out free concussions.

The Least You Should Know (6/15)

A school in the United Kingdom plans to scan the fingerprints of children who check out books. Critics say it could damage their noses.

The Least You Should Know (6/14)

NOAA released its prediction for the 2010 hurricane season. Every year they claim it will be one of the strongest seasons ever; evidently they’re Cubs fans.

The Least You Should Know (6/10)

The Cartoon Network announced a campaign that teaches children how to deal with bullies. The plan is simple for any kid with dynamite,a giant anvil, and the ability to defy gravity.

The Least You Should Know (6/9)

Federal officials said they may not help deport illegal aliens from Arizona. It’s 2010; the only way you get kicked out of the United States is if your name is Trans Fat.

The Least You Should Know (6/8)

Shrek Forever made $70 million the first weekend in theaters. It’s so popular Sarah Ferguson is trying to sell access to it

The Least You Should Know (6/2)

A Kansas City auto dealer gave thousands of dollars to al Qaeda. He set up fake deals as a cover; officials got suspicious when he tried to sell a Buick that was only driven by a little old lady to jihad on Sundays.

The Least You Should Know (6/1)

The White House wants the power to prevent misleading food labels. They have support; for years cannibals have been frustrated when they buy sloppy Joes.

The Least You Should Know (5/28)

A pill that will help people live to 100 and beyond may be available soon. It’s being developed by student loan officers.

The Least You Should Know (5/26)

Doctors are baffled by a man in India who claims he hasn’t had food or water in 70 years. Of course, they're suprised he's still alive, but even more surprised that he left the waitress a tip.

The Least You Should Know (5/25)

Sports promoters in Peru held a Mother’s Day boxing match among 10 women. It was broadcast live from a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.

The Least You Should Know (5/24)

Insiders say CBS and CNN could make a deal that allows them to share resources. Then the cast of CSI can investigate how Larry King keeps getting married.

The Least You Should Know (5/19)

William Shatner made $600 million when he sold his Priceline stock. Apparently he gets to name his price on everything.

The Least You Should Know (5/19)

The Supreme Court closed its iconic front entrance. They did it so the census workers quit ringing the doorbell.

The Least You Should Know (5/17)

60 percent of Americans support a National Day of Prayer. And that day is whatever day Joe Biden is talking to international leaders.

The Least You Should Know (5/12)

Indian scientists are studying an 82-year-old man who claims he hasn’t had any food or drink for 70 years. He said it’s the last time he flies Jet Blue.

The Least You Should Know (5/11)

Research finds that combining 4 habits can prematurely age you by 12 years. They include smoking, excessive drinking, a poor diet, and buying stock in BP.

The Least You Should Know (5/10)

This year marks the 30-year anniversary of the Post-it Note . Post-it Notes are kind of like supermodels – they’re 3 inches wide and remind us to go to the grocery store.

The Least You Should Know (5/6)

Famous Cuban tobacco grower Alejandro Robaina died at age 91. So it’s true — smoking does kill.

The Least You Should Know (5/5)

Critics say KFC’s new Double Down has nearly 1200 calories, not the 540 listed on the menu. It’s important to be accurate for the coroner’s report.

The Least You Should Know (5/4)

HBO showed a movie about suicide doctor Jack Kevorkian. He was imprisoned for helping people who wanted to die; now he just defers to the KFC Double Down.

The Least You Should Know (4/29)

A British woman had such a severe headache it left her talking in a Chinese accent. Out of habit the U.S. Congress tried to borrow money from her.

The Least You Should Know (4/27)

New research finds that in 1847 the Donner Party didn’t eat each other while stranded in the Sierra Nevada. Someone misunderstood the diary that said they ate Chef Boyardee for dinner.

The Least You Should Know (4/26)

President Obama bowed to the president of China. He’s being criticized for exposing an episode of Undercover Boss.

The Least You Should Know (4/22)

GE has a new light bulb they claim could last 17 years without being replaced. It’s like a convenience store hot dog.

The Least You Should Know (4/21)

Officials are looking for 300 Somali Islamists smuggled into the U.S. by a Virginia man. They could be hiding in the 2,400-page health care law; nobody knows what’s in there.

The Least You Should Know (4/19)

A new law in California allows some violent parolees to go unsupervised. Critics say it will turn the state into one big Chuck E. Cheese restaurant.

Government Rules (The Least You Should Know 4/15)

Last week President Obama made congratulatory phone calls to coaches from Duke and Butler. He said he only saw one mistake in the big game; the possession arrow wasn’t pointed at the government.

The Least You Should Know (4/14)

A Turkish pop singer set the world speed record by a blind solo driver at 180 miles per hour. His service dog was exhausted.

...and Republicans were there to block it (The Least You Should Know 4/13).

President Obama threw out the first pitch at the Nationals home opener. It’s the first pitch he’s made in months that didn’t cost us billions.

This Explains the New Clinic in Farmville (The Least You Should Know 4/8)

British researchers found a link between social networking sites and the spread of STDs. Evidently Facebook really is a place to connect and share.

Walk a Mile in Their Shoes (The Least You Should Know 4/7)

Maine is considering a tax on clowns. The clowns are concerned; to financially survive they’d have to sell their car.

Maybe it had a sore throat (The Least you Should Know 4/5)

A zoo in Albuquerque is being investigated for disposing of a dead giraffe in a trash dumpster. It took them 3 days to get the lid closed.

It's a Designated No-Joking Area (The Least You Should Know 4/1)

The TSA might install a device that tracks how long airline passengers stand in security lines. The device is called a calendar.

It's Either This or a Runaway Toyota (The Least You Should Know 3/31)

India’s military has a crowd control grenade that’s packed with seeds from the world’s hottest chili pepper. It scatters people faster than an I.R.S. agent at a Tea Party convention.

Don't Forget to Floss (The Least You Should Know 3/30)

SeaWorld's whale that killed an employee last month has a new customized toothbrush. It was due for a new one; dentists suggest replacing it after 2 or 3 trainers.

I Told You I Was Sick (The Least You Should Know 3/29)

A company in Phoenix has created a talking headstone. You record a message so people can hear your voice from the grave; it’s how CNN does Larry King’s show.

Whale I'll Be Darned (The Least You Should Know 3/25)

A California restaurant accused of selling whale meat is closing. Nobody believed the chef's claim that it was a whale substitute called I can’t Believe it’s Not Blubber.

The Office Hothead (The Least You Should Know 3/23)

An exorcist said the devil is at work in the Vatican. Wow. Those E.O.E. laws are really getting strict.

Nomar Leaves the Yard (The Least You Should Know 3/18)

Nomar Garciaparra inked a 1-day contract with Boston so he could retire as a member of the Red Sox. Out of habit they put him on the disabled list.

Lil' Wayne in the Big House (The Least You Should Know 3/17)

Rapper Lil’ Wayne was sentenced to one year in prison. English teachers say it’ll be the first sentence he’s completed in years.

Obama's Citizenship (The Least You Should Know 3/16)

Two days after Barack Obama’s doctor cautioned him about his cholesterol the President was seen eating fried chicken. It should remove any doubt Obama is an American.

The Least You Should Know (3/15) Starbucks: coffee, scones, clay pigeons

Starbucks instituted a policy that allows guns in their stores, so please be clear when you tell the barista you want an espresso shot.

The Least You Should Know (3/11)

Last week Dr. Seuss fans marked the 106th anniversary of his birth. Nobody was better at making up funny-sounding words, except maybe George W. Bush.

The Least You Should Know (3/10)

Doctors want standard colon screenings to explore deeper into the colon. That explains all the new people being hired by the I.R.S.

The Least You Should Know (3/9)

GM's deal to sell the Hummer brand to China fell apart, which likely means the deal was made in China.

The Least You Should Know (3/8)

Seaworld’s killer whale was involved with 2 deaths before the one two weeks ago, yet they didn’t set it free. At least somebody learned a lesson from the O.J. trial.

The Least You Should Know (3/4)

A California man was hit by a train twice within 2 weeks. And yet he’s still had a better month than the president of Toyota.

The Least You Should Know (3/3)

Marijuana use is up among senior citizens. And so is the average time of their bingo games.

The Least You Should Know (3/2)

A woman in Sweden allegedly taped pictures of her ex-boyfriend's private parts on light posts around town. Neighbors thought a politician was missing.

The Least You Should Know (3/1)

Toyota placed ads in U.S. newspapers with an open letter from their president. He mentioned how successful Toyota is; nothing else works but at least their horn still toots.

The Least You Should Know (2/25)

In a phone call with President Obama astronauts at the International Space Station said they could see the Great Wall. At least they though it was the Great Wall; it might've been the national deficit.

The Least You Should Know (2/24)

The woman who plays Susan on Sesame Street is recovering after being hit by a car. That’s why recent shows have been brought to you by the letters E and R.

The Least You Should Know (2/23)

A top global warming scientist admitted the earth hasn’t warmed in 15 years. The guy gave the illusion that it was hot, when really it wasn’t. He’s like a spokesman for Jon Goselin.

The Least You Should Know (2/22)

An Austrian man is giving away his $4.8 million fortune. So he’s investing in General Motors.

The Least You Should Know (2/18)

A company planning to open a hotel in space says it will be able to accept its first paying guests in 2012. There are some drawbacks; it'll take light years to get room service.

The Least You Should Know (2/17)

The Who got mixed reviews on their Super Bowl performance. The show was sponsored by Bridgestone; they thought the Who in 2010 is perfect to promote re-treads.

The Least You Should Know (2/15)

General Motors was reportedly stopped from selling Saab in December due to possible ties to the Russian Mafia. Suspiciouns grew when the buyer seemed to know a lot about the trunk space.

The Least You Should Know (2/11)

Some are wondering what to do with the 3-D glasses used to watch Avatar. It may be the biggest waste of a pair of glasses since O.J. Simpson said he’d look for the real killer.

The Least You Should Know (2/10)

President Obama wants to cancel NASA's moon budget. It’ll have an economic impact; without space exploration we can’t see how high the deficit is.

The Least You Should Know (2/8)

PETA said it’s cruel to bring Punxsutawney Phil out in large crowds once a year and shine bright lights in his face. In other words, he’s like Dick Clark.

The Least You Should Know (2/4)

Avatar passed Titanic as the highest grossing film. So whether it’s science fiction characters or passengers freezing to death in the water, we’ll pay to see people turn blue.

The Least You Should Know (2/3)

Braille literacy is on the decline. There’s a simple explanation, but experts can’t quite put their finger on it.

The Least You Should Know (2/2)

The top prospect for the Oakland Athletics is leaving baseball to join the priesthood. To summarize, he’s leaving the A’s and joining the Padres.

The Least You Should Know (2/1)

Three bomb-sniffing dogs at Philadelphia International Airport failed their re-certification tests. It was because they refused to sniff anybody’s crotch without a lawyer present.

The Least You Should Know (1/28)

Through witness testimony, the diseased wife of alleged murderer Drew Peterson testified from the grave. ACORN also let her cast a vote.

The Least You Should Know (1/27)

Troubled NBA guard Stephon Marbury signed a deal with a Chinese league basketball team. Like the New Jersey Nets, he hasn’t played professionally since last season.

The Least You Should Know (1/25)

Researchers in Connecticut who are working on a 4,000 year-old mummy are tyring to unlock secrets of its past. So they’re making it run for public office.

The Least You Should Know (1/21)

Astronomers are discussing a mystery object that whizzed by the Earth last week. Turns out it was Harry Reid’s approval numbers.

Whatever it was missed us by 80,000 miles, so it looks like those Northwest Airlines pilots are working again.

The Least You Should Know (1/20)

A study finds that compared to the average citizen, NBA players are more likely to be assaulted and tied up. But the players don’t care as long as the referees call a foul.

The Least You Should Know (1/19)

When learning that Vice President Joe Biden’s mom died Americans were both sad and surprised. Sad at her passing and surprised to learn Joe Biden is still the Vice President.

The Least You Should Know (1/18)

The White House is reluctant to let C-Span air the health care debate. They think Warren Beatty would feel inferior if he saw how many people are in bed with Harry Reid.

The Least You Should Know (1/14)

Holiday shopping by cell phone tripled this year, according to a report from eBay and the Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

The Least You Should Know (1/13)

Counterterrorism officials say that extremists are looking for new ways to attack the U.S. You can read the official warning on the label of men’s underwear.

The Least You Should Know (1/12)

The government is rushing to get full-body scanners into airports. Say what you will about Obama, but he did promise more transparency.

The Least You Should Know (1/7)

An Indiana 5th grader took $10,000 from his grandparents and passed it out to classmates. He learned a valuable life lesson: it’s illegal to give away stolen money until you’re elected.

The Least You Should Know (1/6)

Scientists suggest that the ancient Mayans had toilets. No wonder they had so much time to think about the future.

The Least You Should Know (1/5)

The down economy is helping General Mills sell more breakfast cereals. Nobody noticed; even with more money they evidently still can’t afford pants for the Trix rabbit.

The Least You Should Know (1/4)

Golfer John Daly lost 100 pounds. So did Tiger Woods, except his is moving to Sweden.