The Least You Should Know (11/30)

Despite rumors that President Obama is losing weight, he simply stays lean by exercising daily. It turns out that all of that bowing makes a good ab workout.

The Least You Should Know (11/29)

If it turns out the death of Chicago School Board President Michael Scott is because someone put a vicious hit on him, police can rule out anybody on the Bears defense.

The Least You Should Know (11/24)

According to a survey more people are re-gifting. For example, Democrats appear to be giving their Congressional seats to Republicans. 

The Least You Should Know (11/23)

To prepare for black Friday Wal-Mart hired crowd control experts who handled the Super Bowl. Wal-Mart and the Super Bowl are a lot alike; both feature the best tacklers around.

The Least You Should Know (11/19)

Last week closing arguments were made in the John Gotti, Jr. trial. Prosecutors talked a little baseball; they said Derek Jeter really doesn’t have the most hits in New York history.

The Least You Should Know (11/18)

U.S. intelligence knew the Fort Hood gunman tried to contact Al Qaeda, but that wasn’t a reason to kick him out of the military. After all, it’s not like he’s gay.

The Least You Should Know (11/17)

India’s federal government bought 200 tons of gold. They either just made a good fiscal decision, or they’re providing accessories for the country’s rap artists.

The Least You Should Know (11/16)

San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum faces charges for possessing marijuana. He’s a Cy Young Award winner, but apparently wants to be an Olympic gold-medal swimmer.

The Least You Should Know (11/12)

Republicans introduced a 230-page health care bill of their own. Democrats liked how short it was; it didn’t take as long to burn

The Least You Should Know (11/11)

A new restaurant based on the Twilight series is opening next year in Forks, Washington. They’re into blood-sucking vampires so much the main entrée is called “the public option.”

The Least You Should Know (11/9)

In his new book Andre Agassi admits to using meth while he was still playing pro tennis. That explains how he could play doubles without a partner.

The Least You Should Know (11/5)

Levi Johnston will pose for Playgirl in mid-November. I figured if he was doing a shoot it would somehow involve Sarah Palin’s crosshairs.

The Least You Should Know (11/4)

Last week U.N. weapons inspectors arrived in Iran to evaluate a uranium enrichment facility. They were about as welcome as Joe Biden at a mime convention.

The Least You Should Know (11/3)

Pro-Atheism ads started appearing in subway stations across New York City. The campaign is sponsored by fans of the New York Knicks.