- The West Virginia Mountaineers won the N.I.T. basketball tournament, but the commemorative T-shirts players wore after the game is missing the last “I” in Virginia. Sadly, nobody noticed for 3 days.
- In Washington, most of a group of 20 endangered rabbits that were reintroduced to the wild have been killed by predators. The killers tuned in to the bunnies’ tracking bracelets with rabbit ears.
- President Bush is threatening to veto a Senate intelligence bill, specifically because “Senate Intelligence” is an oxymoron.
- Democrats suggest that White House officials are lying when they say emails regarding the termination of eight U.S. prosecutors got deleted. Inside sources report the emails are in Sandy Berger’s pants.
- Steel and coal from the Titanic have been transformed into a new line of luxury wristwatches. Ironically they’re waterproof.
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