Monday, October 16, 2006

Weekly Review 10/16/06

  • In Paris, employees at Euro Disney shot and distributed a "home movie" of several Disney characters in sexual positions. Critics blame Donald Duck because he never wears pants.

  • After the on-field brawl with Florida International on Saturday, University of Miami officials suspended 13 football players from playing at Duke next week. Ashamed by their actions, the suspended players volunteered to watch the game at the residence of the Duke Lacrosse team.

  • London street traders are facing charges after selling perfume made from urine. Customers grew suspicious when they suffered skin irritations and seeing that the perfume is called Love Potion Number One.

  • An Ohio man robbed a bank and immediately handed the money to a guard, hoping to get a prison term that provides the necessities until he is eligible for Social Security. If this plan doesn’t work he’ll meet with a lawyer over a scalding hot cup of McDonald’s coffee.

  • A Delaware grandmother mailing 30 fruitcakes sued the U.S. Postal Service after accusations of being a terrorist from a postal clerk. The judge dismissed the case quickly because he didn’t want the evidence in the courtroom.

  • A post office in the San Fernando Valley was dedicated in the honor of legendary basketball coach John Wooden. There was an awkward moment when an old lady interrupted the ceremony by hurling fruitcakes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Are you submitting these to dailycomedy.com? I'm too lazy to check, but if you're not, you need to be.