- After missing one meal, Saddam Hussein has ended his hunger strike. This morning the Kansas City Royals offered him a contract after Googling his name and seeing the words fast, strike, and screwball.
- A truck driver was treated for minor injuries after his semi tipped over and spilled several toilet seats on Interstate 43 in Wisconsin. It’s the first crappy drive residents have seen since the Packers ended their season.
- China announced plans to have a man on the moon by 2024. They say it could happen earlier if Walmart opens a lunar store.
- July 7th kicks off the sixth annual Cher Convention in Woodland Hills, CA. The big event features a silent auction, dinner, and museum of Cher noses.
- In Ontario, thieves stole a semi and replaced the truck’s $17,000 worth of dish soap with 1,400 boxes of bleach. The case is being investigated by a special cleansing agent.
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