In Her Defense

Pay attention, this is the only time I’ll ever defend Britney Spears. Ah-hem. Last week she almost dropped her kid while walking on the sidewalk. This coming a few weeks after she straps the child in the carseat the wrong way…a few days after she was seen driving with him on her lap…a few days after Junior falls from the highchair. Sounds like a normal first-time parent to me. It would be fun to turn the camera on these parent police.

But if what she has done is so bad, why aren’t all of the expert parent/poperatzi/news achors knocking on my door? In the early days of my son’s life they would have seen his father almost stab him with a steak knife, bounce him off the bed, and nearly use Icy-Hot as a replacement for Vaseline. Oh, I also locked him in the master bedroom; actually, he locked me out but my wife says I still have to take responsibility for that one. And that was just his first week home…

So I guess it’s safe to assume that all of those appalled at Britney’s mistakes have done a masterful parenting job themselves. Now I have to go because Caller ID shows that somebody named “Social Services” is calling.