Put Me in Coach

After March Madness is over, America will turn its attention to Major League baseball. I’ve often wondered about the coaches and managers. They wear uniforms just like the players. Why? Is there going to be a situation where the team needs an overweight 68 year old center fielder with bad knees? Imagine Bill Parcells standing on the Cowboys sideline in shoulder pads with his helmet under his arm, ready to spring onto the field if the defensive coordinator needs an extra blitzing linebacker. And who wouldn’t like to see Bobby Knight in his Red Raider uniform, complete with shorts hanging to his knees, come off a pick-and-roll to dunk over the opposing team’s center?

I’m not complaining that baseball coaches wear their uniforms. After all, it would be odd to see Bobby Cox and Tony LaRussa exchanging lineup cards before the game wearing polo shirts and khakis. But you can tell baseball coaches are serious because they wear cleats. When the grandfather of seven runs down that line drive in the alley, he doesn’t want to slip and fall. That would make him look silly.